I know who I am.

Well tonight, something changed. Something broke through. Something broke free. Last night I asked my team to pray for Bill and I because we were struggling in some ways just because of the leadership calling God has placed in our lives. Just speaking it out that I am a leader changed something inside me. Like speaking it out broke something. Changed something.

I was reminded that because the girls moved to the same base as us and we could finally have worship time together, I was supposed to lead worship tonight. So, we decided to go eat and then worship on the beach. I didn't have any time to prepare or plan, but I think a lot of times that sets you up to hear the sounds of Heaven the most, at least I've found. I am by no means saying that you shouldn't practice your skill, but I think God just uses these situations in my life a lot.

So we finished eating, I picked up the guitar, and began to sing “He is Yahweh”, and then I just encouraged everyone to sing out who God is. And we did that, and I just sang, and all of the sudden I felt a wall break, I felt something change. I felt my voice able to actually sing out, I felt something that was holding me back BREAK. Like it was a physical difference that I could feel, in both the natural and the spiritual.

After that went on for quite awhile, I began to intercede for our team and pray outloud, just for the reality of the cross to burn in our hearts, and for overwelming joy for our team. I was brought to tears quite a few times throughout the worship session just because I could feel the Lord's heart so strongly.

Then I felt God saying I was to sing over someone, I was thinking I was going to sing over the whole team. But then God hightlighted Bill. So I was like, “Bill, this is kind of weird but God told me to sing over you, and bare with me because I've never done something like this before”, and then God just spoke to me, line by line, and I sang it, and I prayed it. I could feel God's heart for Bill so strongly that I began to cry while I was praying, and singing. Bill was sitting in front of me, so I wasn't really able to see if any of what I said rang in his heart. But after I asked Him, and he's like “Kind of! Haha. Ya, you couldn't see me but I was weeping the whole time”.

After I just began to sing about how it's crazy that God speaks through each one of us. And that He wants to, and I just called forth our team in boldness. That they would speak out the things that Jesus is whispering in their ears. And I could feel the Spirit so strongly.

I wish I could put into words all of what happened, but I just can't, I can't. The spirit moved through me in new ways. I have never felt Him like this when worshipping, or quite possibly ever before.

My name is Jacob Cole, and I am leader. And no lies will change that anymore. The gates of Hell can no longer hold me back. I finally, for the first time in my life know my indentity. I know who I am.

Some may ask what I want to be written on my gravestone when I die, and it's this,

“There was no one in all of history that had greater intimacy with Jesus”

I'm running this race to finish first place.

I'm in this to win.